To Be Fit

I haven't been posting about fitness, weightloss, or healthy eating because I have been sick as a dog. Actually, strike that, my dogs are WAY healthier than I am!

I came down with whatever this is around the very beginning of April, and I am STILL fighting it. After a couple of weeks, and my continuing to get worse, they put me on antibiotics and a bunch of other things, and I have slowly started to get better. I'm hoping by next week I'll be back to a normal fitness schedule.

Unfortunately, it's been almost a month since I have consistently exercised. Probably the longest break I have had in five years. I have been going absolutely out of my mind! I have often found myself staring at my exercise equipment like a lost puppy, and fighting the urge to go in and pat my free weights and let them know I still love them.

Of course, all of this "free time" (in between coughing up a lung and wondering if I had actually contracted the plague) has lead to a bit of contemplating the realities of fitness. Just the word "Fit"... What does it really mean? What IS fit? Fit has a huge definition since it applies to so many different things, but here are the ones that seem to apply;

Fit : To be the proper size and shape for. To be appropriate to. To make suitable. To be in harmony. Suited, adapted, or acceptable for a given circumstance or purpose. Physically sound; healthy. Biology; Successfully adapted to survive and produce viable offspring in a particular environment. Sound physically and mentally : HEALTHY —fit·ness noun

This lead me to FITNESS:

fit·ness ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ftns)n.
1) The state or condition of being fit; suitability or appropriateness.
2) Good health or physical condition, especially as the result of exercise and proper nutrition.


HEALTHY:
Main Entry
Pronunciation: 'hel-thE
Function: adjective
Inflected Forms: healIh·i·er; -est
1 : enjoying health and vigor of body, mind, or spirit
2 : revealing a state of health
3 : conducive to health

The actual definitions are pretty interesting. Especially considering the varying ideas of what being healthy and fit means. You see, I have found that "fit" depends on who you "associate" yourself with.

This weekend we had a bunch of people over for a baby-shower (there is nothing like celebrating new life, while you feel like dying in a corner!) One of the women has "successfully" been on weight watchers for over a year. She has lost a lot of weight, and she is not "overweight" at ALL anymore. The other women made little remarks here and there, all nice, and the general take on it was how "fit" she is now.

I give her 110% kudos to the hard work she did. Don't misunderstand what I am about to say... But, I didn't see a "fit" person, I saw a "thinner" one. She had NO muscle tone. To the hardcore Gym-rats, she is what you would call a "skinny-fat". BUT - she felt she was fit, and was very happy with that.

On the flip side from the Weight-Watchers and Jenny Craig types are the hard core gym rats. The people who are on the other extreme who don't see "thin" as being enough. They want muscles and excessively low bodyfat. Definition is the name of the game. Seeing not only the muscles, but the veins on the muscles doing their own little show when you flex. To them, being "skinny-fat" is just as bad as being "plain old fat."

There are, of course, a million levels in between those two groups. You have the ultra-runners who feel fitness is nothing less than being able to run a 100 mile race at the drop of a hat. The strength enthusiast who will only feel comfortable if they can shoulder their car and carry it to the shop if it breaks down. The yoga enthusiast who must be able to contort their body into knots that rival a knitter's wildest fantasy and hold it for hours on end. The list is never ending.

My point is, "fit" in relation to yourself is all about who you decide to associate yourself with. But what if you don't know who you would belong best with? What if you don't "fit" the definitions of "fitness"? This is what I have been struggling with for a long time.

Honestly, my definition of what is Fit has changed over the years. When I was a teenager it was "as thin as possible" - and short. I know, that has nothing to do with it - but being so much taller than the girls and even a lot of the guys just mean that I was "bigger" overall. Being anorexic and short was unachievable, obviously. But, that is the purpose of being a teen - to have completely stupid perceptions that I could endlessly torture myself with, and be insecure! Right on!

For a long time, being fit was just a number. A number on my scale, I should say. Especially when I was obese. I remember saying "If I could JUST get below 200 lbs, I will never complain about my weight again!" Then I got below that number, and it wasn't enough. My "magic number" kept moving. In pursuit of that number, I started working out harder. I found a plan that took me the first step towards being physically stronger and capable, the "something more" beyond just being thinner.

It was at this time that instead of dropping my magic number theory of fitness, I added to it. I must also be able to do something physically challenging. This lead me to run a marathon (a very big deal for someone like me who hated running, and was actually BAD at it.) After that, it became more about how strong I could be, how much I could lift, and I became a certified personal trainer.

Then I met some /figure competitors, both online and in person. During this time, I also met a lot of other fitness enthusiasts online. I also started reading Oxygen, seeing those tight cover models on every page. And this is where my image of "what is fit" has finally settled.

My only problem with this is that some of what I view as fit is just simply unachievable for me. A big part of the visible portion, to be specific. The sad truth is, my body is more stretch-mark than not. Even when I was a thin kid, when I hit puberty my body became a mass of stretch-marks from my chest to my hips, all the way up and across my back - all without weight gain. That's how bad my skin elasticity is. Now, couple that with being obese. Then having kids. I don't think I have any unmarred skin left. And what is worse is that my skin doesn't tighten back up. Put simply - I'll never see true definition - something I see as part of being fit.

So what do you do when what you view as "fit", visually, is unachievable?

One of the definitions of fit, way up there in my post was "to be in harmony." I've been thinking a lot about that lately. I feel like I am in constant battle with my body, my food, everything. If being fit is to be in harmony.... I'm WAY off my mark.

So, I'm trying to work with what I have. It's a work in progress. The hardest part is when I have to take something back that I'll never have (like the definition of my abs) because it makes me feel like I am admitting failure.

To date, my personal definition of fit is:
* looking good (thin, strong, tight)
* a magic number on the Body Fat %. Fit = about 18-19%, preferred would be about 14-16%.
* a magic number on a scale. Sad, but I can't give this one up yet. I'm currently in love with 145 lbs.
* Strong. To be able to bench press, and everything else at a level that the average "weight-watchers" person would faint.
* Capable to compete in a physical event. Something like a local 10K, or a half-triathalon, etc.
* Eating healthy foods, engaging in an all over healthy lifestyle.
* I'm going to add being in "harmony" with all of this. This may be my most unachievable on the list, but I think it does belong there.

I'm not saying these are right or wrong. But this is what plagues me day to day when I wake up, and look at a calandar and see I am not there yet, and how much time I have wasted.

I've been thinking a lot about the weight-watchers woman this weekend. She is in harmony. She had very few things on her list of being fit. She just wanted to be thin. Once she got that, she was happy, and she didn't then add to her list to strive for something else. Does it matter if she is "skinny-fat" if she is seriously content with what she has achieved? I can't even imagine the feeling of achieving my whole definition of fit like she did, and just being able to sit back and enjoy it all.

So, how many of you are "In harmony"? What are your personal definitions of being fit? How do you fit into those?