BOO!

Happy Halloween everyone! I'm finding this Halloween to be rather humorous. This morning I was awakened about an hour early, likely due to the time change and internal programming. I was frustrated with myself, and tried to just go back to sleep (why is it when you wake up like that you are WIDE awake, but if you manage to go back to sleep you are the living dead when your alarm goes off?) While laying in the dark an imagining chocolate pieces jumping over my treadmill, I heard my son mumbling about Halloween in his sleep; "Oh yes, I really should get more candy. Darth Vader likes chocolate.... Reese's? .... OK.... more please...."

Hmmm wonder what he was dreaming about?

On my drive here, I saw the house with the hanging scarecrow and gravestones set up in their front yard that I mentioned in an earlier post. Outside was a teenage boy trying to set up more grave stones. Not really noteworthy, when suddenly the poor kid flipped over the gravestone and did a face plant into the ground. He got back up, and appeared to have escaped serious injury... I'm using that to make myself feel better about laughing so hard that I almost drove off the road. I'm such a bad person.

*ahem*

Lets see.... my English professor (woman) showed up as a man. I'll just let that statement sit as it is.

And of all the frightening things today, the worst would be the giant midterm I have in about two hours, that counts for 35% of my grade in the class. I figure that professor must be anti-Halloween. *sigh* The goal is to blast through the mid-term (getting everything right.... HA! Yeah, I'm delusional. Leave me alone.) And make it home in time to paint my daughter's face and traipse all over a nearby town in search of evil goodies!

People here go all out, it's really spectacular. If the weather holds, I plan on taking my camera to share our adventure with everyone tomorrow. I want to know what everyone else's Halloween plans are!

In response to the last comment on my previous post, a fitness update: My weight machine is still under repairs (this time they're sending out a tech, thank goodness!) So I've been making do with free weights. The good news is that my foot is improving and I have been running again. So much so, that I am seriously considering entering a Thanksgiving race! (For those who didn't know, I developed plantar Fasciitis in my right foot, which then aggravated my ITBS in both legs, and well... it was just a bad situation. This has been going on well over a year - so for it to improve is a huge YAY!)

I am also going to break out the swords again. I gave it up for a while, but I have found that I miss it. So, I'm clearing an area in the garage where I can practice without too much bodily risk. That's where things stand right now. I've been looking at some of the cross-fit exercises, and I just don't think I have the time right now with classes jammed as they are and the family too to get them in, but I'm going to think on it a bit.

Hit The Road, Jack!

They did a poll here (amazing really, since I suspect that over 50% of the population can't read, as evidenced by how they always go 30 in a 50 MPH zone, never stop at stop signs, and slow down to watch leaves fall.) The poll found that the average commute to work here was about 70 minutes.

*gasp*

That's right, 70 minutes. One hour and ten minutes. 4,200 seconds. Oh, and that's ONE way! Where the heck are these people going?

Wait... wait. I did say they all drove 30 MPH in the 50 MPH zone. I'm thinking there is a connection there. The poll also didn't say whether this was done in the Winter, Spring, Summer or Autumn. This would be an important element to consider.

In the Winter, driving through three feet of snow behind "Jimmy" the plow guy can really slow you down, unless you have a dog-sled and can take the short cut (a serious consideration on some days.)



In the spring, you need a boat to cross half the washed out roads, or climbing gear for the rocks that slide into the way. And lets not forget all the skunks that engage in their annual mass-suicides on a bad bet with the squirrels and frogs as to who can outnumber the other. Trust me, you do NOT want to "smell Vermont" in the spring. Between that and the fertilization of the fields....
*gag*
*ahem* Moving on.


The summer is actually easy-street out here. Nothing in your way but the hot-air-balloons that tend to fall into backyards, and the occasional drunk on the road (sometimes falling out of the balloons.) However those guys are out ALL year round. In the summer they like to try their hands at water skiing, thus dying on the lake instead of a head-on collision (minus the trauma to the fish, I think this is a fantastic trade-off.) So really, summer is best for driving.

You would think that Winter would be the worst for commuting, but truly it's Autumn. We have all the tourists, who have never seen a cow before, jamming the roadways to take a photo of Old Betsy to send home to the other city-dwellers. Every person older than Methuselah, and shorter than a hobbit, arrives to drive along the main highways for a "scenic afternoon" at 5 MPH (Vermont's idea of a highway is a road with only one lane of traffic on each side, stretching the entire length of the state, that is the only way to get ANYWHERE for anyone. They might call it a "high-way" simply because of all the wild marijuana plants that grow along every road, in every field, and every backyard here. Seriously, people, they call it a WEED for a reason. But it DOES smell fantastic when I am mowing... no idea why. And I always need a snack afterwards.)

Autumn can also cause a longer commute time for the "Lucky in Love Winner". This person always owns a red mini-van, to which a very LARGE male moose falls in love with, and summarily causes all traffic to be shut down for hours. The worst part is, I'm NOT kidding. The upside is, it just makes me doubly glad that I own neither a red car or a minivan.



All the weather shifting can cause our roads to be a bit temperamental, too.

Still, with all these excuses, I cannot fathom wanting to drive 70 minutes one way to a JOB!

So, a question for you;

*What is your commute time one way to work (if you don't work, how about your spouse, significant other, partner in crime, dancing monkey, whatever)?

*Why is it that long/short?

*In relation to your commute time, did you choose the place you live before or after you knew where you were going to be working? If it was before, are you considering moving because of it?

*What do you think is a reasonable amount of commute time?

*How important is the commute time when choosing to work at a specific job?

Friday Frights

I woke up this morning, and new areas of my body popped that hadn't popped before. Is it possible I am developing new joints? Maybe I'll be able to twist myself into some sort of complicated origami design by the time I'm 40! Or maybe something is seriously wrong, and I have the literal equivalent of a screw loose? I know, I know... I'll just add it to my collection.

I have a business dinner party to go to tonight, so I have to pull on my "respectability" cloak (kinda like a superhero in reverse, it involves pantyhose and other torture devices that should be declared as inhumane by the United Nations any moment now) and remember to hold my wine glass properly. I'm trying to decide what shoes to wear... oh dear, that almost sounded like a typical woman. Let me clarify this really quickly, before you get the wrong idea - I need to figure out the average height and dress of people tonight. If the group has taller people, I can wear my heels. If they don't, then I have to dig around until I find paper-thin flats. I have found that I make people really, REALLY nervous if I show up in heels pushing 6'1 when everyone else is 5'7 (what is WITH all the short people? Are men shrinking everywhere, or just Vermont?)

I also have to bake a cake, clean the house, write a nine-page research paper, about 10 hours of accounting work as well as a couple hours of other homework, make sure I have my costume for tomorrow's harvest festival where I will be painting faces for six hours, AND - figure out my dog's costumes.

Now, I am not an advocate of dressing up dogs for Halloween. There seems to be something seriously strange about people who do that. However, I have two children who have been asking to take the dogs trick-or-treating with them for years, and my Labrador LOVES wearing clothes, he's very much a "queer eye for the straight guy" kind of dog (thank-goodness, because my daughter dresses him up all the time.) So this year my husband said "Sure!" when the kids asked if the dogs could come, and then he so graciously volunteered ME to figure out their costumes.

Me. Dogs. Costumes. Hello? Twilight zone?

So, last night had me going through the storage bins trying to figure something out. Apparently my idea of just telling everyone they were actually cats but they're going as dogs for Halloween wasn't a big hit with the family. Tough crowd.

All this would have been bad enough, but then my little lhasa apso came in after apparently rolling in a briar-patch. *sigh* He ended up getting an on the spot hair-cut that had me up until midnight, and HIM still not speaking to me this morning. Although, he might still be mad at me today because we forced him into a sweater after he started shivering because of the cold. (dog + sweater = asinine, just in case anyone was wondering.)

Why do I have pets again? Oh right, so I can use them to procrastinate over my homework! Got it!

All right, now on to the completely pointless (OK, more pointless), but extremely important portion of my Friday post!

Halloween = Candy

(That's the Halloween mathematic formula, in case you were wondering. We'll get into exponents of chocolate, and the square root of caramel later, when I think the class is up to the challenge. Below is a multiplication table for your reference, you may study it for the test.)

So, I want to know what your top THREE favorite candies are! Are you a Snickers, Rolos, 3 Musketeers, or a Kit-Kat type? Are you the oldie but goodie type preferring candy corn, Smartees, Salt-water Taffy, and Tootsie Rolls? What about licorice, jelly beans and nerds? Let hear it! Top three!

For my top three? Hmmmmm well....

I'm thinking Reese's might be in my top three. Along with:

I Told You So!

Don't you just want to smack the heck out of someone who says "I Told You So!!!"

Yeah well. I told you so!

I put on my flannel sheets. In an effort to avoid tempting Old Man Winter, my husband dug out our not as soft and snugly (as the snowflake ones) OLD pair of flannel sheets that are just a cream color. Well, apparently, that doesn't matter to Old Man Winter. SNOW, people!

S-N-O-W!

I am NOT ready for snow, and yet this morning on the news they said "Look! FIVE days of snow forecasted! Sure, it'll mostly happen over night - but basically, we're looking at dismal gloomy weather all the way through our forecast. We'll likely see snow showers this evening as well."

See? It's my fault.

Oh, and in other Worst Mother of the Year News - I still haven't taken the kids to go pick out pumpkins for Halloween. *cringe* I know. The shame. The horror. How could I?

This entire Halloween season has been a total slack-fest for me. I only got around to putting up half the decorations 2+ weeks late, and now this. No pumpkins. Three years ago, I actually carved my children's portraits into the pumpkins. This year? I got nuthin'.

In my last ditch defense on this matter, I did get suckered into volunteering for the town Harvest/Halloween festival this weekend. I will be painting faces for six hours straight (and this while I have a nine page research paper due next week that I haven't started yet.) My daughter cornered me and said I HAVE to be something this year, so present mood accounted for - I'm going as a witch (with a W, people. I heard that! Don't think I didn't hear that!)

Snow. I can't believe we're going to get snow.

At least I am ready. You see, the very first day it snows DURING the day (overnight doesn't count), it's tradition to bake a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies. It is law in our house. The kids have been waiting rather impatiently. They knew it was time to pick up the ingredients when it started turning chilly, and since then, they have been on full scale snow-alert mode. I can't tell you how many times I have heard "See that? It looked like a snowflake! Yes it did, SO! -arguing- MOM! Can we bake cookies now?" (No, honey. A leaf fluttering in the breeze isn't snow. Even if it looks like a snowflake, it doesn't count for the cookie-snow-law.)

*sigh* I should just give up and give into the idea that winter is here. Shouldn't I?

And on that note - I need Gingerbread House Ideas!!!! I've thrown out these as a no-go so far: King Kong, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Candy land, Wizard of Oz, Dr. Seuss (since I did a Dr. Seuss last year), Hansel & Gretel, and Harry Potter (because the teens did it last year, I wouldn't want to trespass on that.)

So, ones considering: Santa's Village, Santa's workshop, Holiday town (incorporating all the year's holidays... well the big ones). Any others? Wild is ok, crude, violent, inappropriate isn't. Any nursery rhyme you really like that would work (last year someone did Hickory Dickory Doc, so I don't want to do that either)?

My brain is fried. I'm writing a research paper involving King Arthur. At this point I'm about ready to make a big rock of gingerbread and throw a sword in it, and call it a day.

I Have A Case Of The Mondays

I know Garfield beat me to it, before I even knew what Monday was, but I HATE Mondays.

I really do. I hate all of them; sunny, cloudy, rainy, snowy, you name it. Most everything that ever goes wrong for me is on a Monday. Does anyone ever have anything GOOD happen on a Monday? Oh, and if you are on VACATION at the time, or it's a holiday like Christmas or something, it DOESN'T count!

Well, maybe other people aren't afflicted with the Monday Plague, but I am. There are few worse feelings than startling awake at your alarm clock buzzing (we need to invent a kinder, gentler alarm clock - these things are going to kill me one day) only to realize out of all the days it could have been, it is MONDAY. The beginning to all things evil.

Now, point of fact, today is even worse than normal, because it's a "half-light" kind of day. We have heavy, dark clouds, but no rain, no wind. Just utter stillness, as if the world had stopped at 6:30 am. I'm going to have a perpetual 6:30 am Monday. Yuck.

As a kid, it was the same way. Mondays came, and it was just an unhappy thing to be on a Monday, and frequently bad things happened (seriously, all my teachers thought that Monday meant "give as much homework as possible, just short of the line that Child Protective Services would intervene.") It was a Monday that I had a bad migraine, passed out on my bike and had a blow-out fracture behind my right eye. It was a Monday that I went down the hill of death (deadman's curve) on roller skates to an evil end (albeit, I totally deserved it, brat that I was.) It was a Monday that my mother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

It was a Monday that I found letters from my idiot boyfriend that I was living with when I was 18 to his ex declaring his undying love for her (OK, technically a good thing in retrospect. But at the time, it sucked.) It was a Monday the one and only time I ever got fired from a job (I showed up for my first day in a business slacks suit, and was summarily dismissed because the office policy was that women ONLY wore skirts and dresses, that was professional, pants were NEVER allowed. Of course, no one told me this. And OK, HOW STUPID is that?)

I need a new name for Mondays. Moneveils? Um....hmmm. Well anyway, even if nothing bad happens on one, it's still a M-O-N-D-A-Y! Mondays are depressing. I'm thinking about starting a campaign to rid them from our world. I'll have to start it on a Tuesday though.

To Flannel, Or Not To Flannel

This morning I woke up and looked out my window to see... nothing. Absolutely nothing! We were in a cloud again. Or, more specifically, the clouds had descended and decided to frost anything and everything. In short - IT'S COLD! According to the thermometer, it's 24 degrees outside right now!

Up until now, I have been resisting pulling out my flannel sheets. Not that I don't love my flannel sheets, because I do! There is nothing like snuggling in a bed that never feels cold. Plus, if you wear flannel pj's to bed, you get the Velcro-effect where you physically can not move. I don't know why, but when it's cold and snowing, and the wind is blowing, feeling like your bed has a tight grip on you is really appealing. But! My flannel sheets have pictures of snowflakes all over them.

I'm in denial of winter fast approaching. I have been so busy this season, that I only JUST got out my Halloween decorations. To add insult to injury, I am not even putting ALL of them up (I have a lot.) I have my spooky village on my mantel that the kids alternately torture each other with (one will sneak in and turn on the spooky sounds, and then the other one sneaks in and turns it off because it spooks him out.) But all my festive autumn leaves and lights, and other completely useless but fun stuff? Forget it. I guess I am saving my energy for the Christmas decorating (which takes me weeks.)

But, when the heck did the holidays get here? Seriously? Halloween is only a week and a half away, and then it's a fast slide on roller skates to Thanksgiving (which is also my son's 6th birthday,) and the big Gingerbread House Contest that I won my division for last year, and managed to tick off the entire community with is right before Thanksgiving, so technically I am supposed to be working on my design on how to best piss off the town this year (suggestions needed!!! Last year I did Whoville: I need good suggestions, nothing crass. They'll still be angry with me no matter what.) And heck, usually I have all my Christmas shopping DONE by Halloween! Seriously! But not this time.

Instead, I am sitting in deep debate over whether to put my snowflake flannel sheets on my bed, because it somehow feels like admitting defeat. Like I am tempting the snow-gods to dump two feet of snow on us (I just know it was someone putting on their snow-flannel-sheets that caused those people out in Buffalo to get that two feet of snow out of the blue a week or so ago. They're probably hiding in their house in shame...)

But the truth is, I am NOT READY YET! In my head it's still SEPTEMBER, for crying out loud! I keep writing September on my bills and everything. Maybe there is something seriously wrong with me. This IS normally my favorite time of the year, but I feel as though it's flying by without me even noticing! Oh no... this is another symptom of getting old.... isn't it!

Well, I think I have to give in. I think it's time to put the flannel sheets on the bed. And to probably turn the heater on in the house. It's 56 degrees in here right now. I think I must admit defeat and declare Winter officially on it's way. So, if Vermont gets three feet of snow tonight, you'll know who caused it.

ShhHHhhhhHHhhHH!!!

Why are some people missing the gene that allows them to be quiet? Take my husband for example; the man can sleep through ANYTHING, but can NOT be quiet to save his life. Is it because noise and light doesn't bother him, that he thinks it shouldn't bother anyone else?

When I first met him I had to break him of the habit of going to sleep with the lights and television on. What kind of sadistic person prefers to sleep with the lights blazing and the television droning on? Seriously, it was something that came close to costing him his life. I cannot sleep with the lights blazing, and if I fall asleep with the television on, I feel as though I haven't gotten any sleep at all! Those first few months I slowly morphed into a zombie as the war of the lights/television played out. Some nights were my way, some were his...

I did win. I won't tell you how (as it may have been illegal in several countries), but I won. Still, 13 years later, every now and then he gives it another go. He apparently likes to live dangerously.

Anyway, I get up earlier than anyone in my house on my school days. I make sure to make as little noise as possible and keep lights to a minimum if at all - even at my own personal risk of tumbling over a cat and down the stairs, just out of consideration for those who do NOT need to be up at 4 am. I am quiet.

This morning my husband got up early, and had every light on. Doors slammed, things crashed, seriously - if I didn't know better I would think it was intentional. I know it isn't, however. But still - where is the piece in his brain that tells him to "KEEP IT DOWN!!!!"?

Even worse, I am very sensitive to sound since I had children. The smallest noise has me leaping from my bed and charging into the children's rooms in a drop of a hat. My husband has continued to be amazed by this since he can't even figure out what his feet are for in the middle of the night, assuming he wakes at ALL.

One memorable night had me walking in our bedroom with my infant son screaming and throwing up on me, while my preschool aged daughter threw up in our bathroom, the lights on, and my husband snoring away. I kept yelling at him for help, and eventually I balanced on one leg and kicked him in the shins to wake him up. He was mad at ME for disturbing him (he turns into his evil twin after he falls asleep, until his first cup of coffee.) Once his brain started working he apologised, but he knows that is one he'll never live down. (Because yes, we really DO file away everything you have ever done wrong, to be used against you at a future date until the day you die.)

This morning I just sighed as I laid in bed and listened to him stumble through the bathroom, down the stairs, and through the kitchen like an elephant in high heels with pots and pans tied to him. The only explanation I can come up with is that he really is missing a part of the genetic code that enables him to be quiet when he needs to. I figure it's near the DNA markers for grace and dexterity, because I'm missing those myself.

OK, onto another topic : MP3 players. Mine is DYING. So, I'm in the market as it were. I'm interested in what you all think about what's on the market and which way you would go and why. Keep in mind, I use mine almost solely for my workouts like running/biking/sword training/etc so this means I will be getting sweaty, etc. It needs to be durable.

Oh, and I am totally irritated with Apple AND Microsoft. I have music from different services (itunes, buy.com etc) and some will only play on the windows player, some only on itunes, and the ones that won't are blocked from being converted!!! I'm really getting tired of this stupid war they have going on!!! ARGH! If I try to play an itunes download on MS, it says it doesn't support the mp4 format, if I try and play the downloaded others on itunes it says the license blocks it and refuses to do it. Seriously, I am having a fit here...

Oh, and a word about earphones! I am having the worst time. I need earphones that stay put for my workouts. My run last night had me almost continuously holding them to my head! My ears are tiny, so anything that loops over them won't fit. Also, too big an ear bud falls out. I got a nice set that is supposed to be great and worked good for 10 minutes but then those started popping out too. I even put a headband around my head to hold them in place and it didn't work. So... any suggestions?

Jitter-Bug

I had to attend a lecture on Tuesday. Yes, for me, lectures rank right up there with a visit to the gynacologists office. *sigh* Still, it was only a two hour (two hours of my life I will never get back) lecture. I could survive that. Right?

Well, it seemed like I could, until around 20 minutes into the lecture when the twit next to me (barely 18, thinks she is Barbie incarnate, Prada, giggling and flipping her hair while peering over her shoulder O-so-Subtly at the guy behind her, waves of perfume emanating from her like heat off pavement in July) started bouncing her leg.

I'm sure everyone has done this before. It's an oddly satisfying nervous habit. Sometimes it's just fun, for absolutely NO definable reason. In general, I have no problem with people who do this, as even I do. However....

NOT WHEN YOUR CHAIR IS ATTACHED TO EVERYONE ELSE'S CHAIR IN THE ROW!!!!

The rows were about 12 seats each, all metal (yes, because steel is so damn comfortable for a two hour lecture, remind me to thank the thoughtful person who went for that design) and all suspended from the same metal bar that runs the length of the row. When that twit started up, it literally set the ENTIRE row to bouncing. Do you think she even noticed?

Well, interestingly enough, YES, she did. She looked at the rest of the row, and then right at me. I raised my eyebrows at her and then looked pointedly at her knee in the universal signal of "Knock that crap off, or I'll shove that Prada bag in a place that creates a whole new definition of high fashion!"

She didn't stop.

Now, in her defense I was being bounced around so violently, it's quite possible she thought I was looking at the ceiling, having a seizure, imagining I was on an amusement park ride... whatever. Deep down, I like to think that I made contact with the one small, disadvantaged brain cell left in her over perfumed, bleached blond head. Even if the twit didn't take the gist to heart.

I thought that was as bad as it would get. Until twit part duex, right next to her, matching Prada and highlights (they may very well share Twit #1's brain cell on a time share basis) apparently thought that the knee bouncing thing was a banner idea and started in on it too.

The bouncing lasted the entire rest of the lecture. That's right folks, we're talking over 90 MINUTES of bouncing in horribly uncomfortable steel seats during a lecture boring enough to make a sloth get up and switch trees. Oh, and did I mention that I get motion sickness really easily?

I thought I was going to die.

I couldn't switch seats, stand in the back, or leave the lecture (it was required, after all.) My only consolation during all of this was that I kept promising myself that if I did throw up, I would make sure it was on Twit #1. Matter of fact, if I timed it right, I could probably nail both of them.

I managed to make it through the lecture without loosing my lunch (from the bouncing OR the lecture), and then as soon as the lights were up The Twit Twins stood up like horses just released from the race gates. They then proceeded to get mad at ME because I wasn't out of their way yet. Seriously, it was unbelievable! I am gracious enough to restrain myself from throwing up on their perfumed, over processed, precious selves, and because I'm not out of their way like a peasant before royalty they had a problem with me?

Yeah, I lost it at that point. No, not my lunch, my patience.

I was pissed.

I stood up and glared right at them...or rather... down at them. Turns out the twits were around 5'2 - IN HEELS. Even bleached blond-Prada-witches don't feel so superior when a 5'10, pissed off, OVER 30, with children, I bench press more than you weigh and train with swords, I WILL kick your butt, red-head is glaring down at them.

I never uttered a single word to them...


They actually sat back down.

Minus the remaining nausea from the motion sickness, I left that lecture feeling inordinately pleased with myself.

Does that make me a bad person?

Full of Wonder

Want to be a part of history? This is just too cool not to pass on.

In short, only one of the original Seven Wonders Of The World still exist. The original seven were:

• The pyramids (the only one left)


• The hanging gardens of Babylon


• The statue of Zeus at Olympia


• The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus


• The Mausoleum at Halicarnassus


• The Colossus of Rhodes


• The lighthouse of Alexandria

So, they are choosing SEVEN NEW wonders of the world. How? By votes. Your vote, as a matter of fact - world wide.

So go here : http://www.new7wonders.com/

Cast your vote for the seven wonders you think should win. Pass on the link to everyone you know!

Honestly, the world is so much bigger (as in we actually go everywhere in it) and so much more amazing (because we have found so much more), I feel as though it shouldn't be limited to just seven! I mean, who picked "seven" as the magic number anyway?

I think it's a fantastic idea, however. I'm all geared up to vote. The tough part is choosing, because quite frankly, most of the choices ARE amazing. This is also a fantastic way to make travel plans. A whole "must see before I die" kind of thing! Even if all my choices don't make it, I'll have made my very own seven wonders of the world list, and things I want to visit.

Anyway, GO VOTE! It actually counts, unlike say... voting for president.

Scare-Kyra's

Remember when scarecrows used to be kinda cute? They seemed rather nice, and not particularly sinister to anything but blackbirds with way too much free time on their hands. They'd stand out in the bright sunshine surrounded by corn, and in the end, even the blackbirds weren't afraid.


I miss those scarecrows.




These people out here are FREAKING ME OUT!


For those who don't know, New England, Vermont in particular, is in the habit of sticking out huge amounts of scarecrows from mid-September through mid to late November. Not just one here or there, but mobs of them! Entire towns will band together and each person will commit to a certain number of scarecrows that they contribute. As you head into our largest city, for five miles STRAIGHT there isn't a telephone pole, sign, or tree near the road that doesn't have a scarecrow on/propped/tied to it.



That would be bad enough, if it weren't for the fact that some of these people are becoming sadistic about it. On my way home this evening, I passed not one, but FOUR scarecrows hanging from tree limbs by a noose. Others had sheets and things attached that made them down right spectrally creepy (OK, and it was raining and twilight so it was even worse), and some of them were in PARTS. You know... an arm here, a leg there, and head stuck up in the tree.



I would have snapped photos of the sickness in all it's glory, since I had my camera, but it was raining buckets and the light was low as it was dusk. Seriously, what is WRONG with people out here? I know you get the occasional Halloween nutcase (usually biologically related to me), but whole TOWNS?


Save me.


I did manage to snap one photo this morning as the sun was rising on my drive in. Yes, I am aware that this is just further evidence that I'm insane. The sun is just rising and I had already been up 2.5 hours! UGH! Now THAT is scarier than all those darn scarecrows put together!

Can Your Kids Do Better Than You?

I found "The President's Challenge" online today, and it establishes physical fitness minimums for children. Looking this over, I have to tell you, I don't know many ADULTS that could do even the 6 year old level. So, where do you fall in?

Curl-Ups

The curl-up test involves having a child lie on a surface with knees flexed and feet about 12 inches away from the buttocks. The arms are crossed with hands on opposite shoulders and elbows close to the chest. Keeping the arm position steady, the child curls up to touch the elbows to the thigh and then back to the floor until the shoulder blades touch the floor.

• **A 6-year-old boy should be capable of 33 curl-ups in one minute and a 6-year-old girl should be capable of 32 curl-ups in one minute.
• **A 10-year-old boy should be capable of 45 curl-ups in one minute and a 10-year-old girl should be capable of 40 curl-ups in one minute.
• **A 15-year-old boy should be capable of 57 curl-ups in one minute and a 15-year-old girl should be capable of 48 curl-ups in one minute.

Shuttle Run

Mark two parallel lines 30 feet apart and place two objects behind the lines. On "go," the child runs to the objects, picks one up, runs back to the starting line and places the object behind the line. The child runs back, picks up the second object and runs back across the starting line.

• **A 6-year-old boy should be able to finish the run in 12.1 seconds and a 6-year-old girl should be able to finish the run in 12.4 seconds.
• **A 10-year-old boy should be able to finish the run in 10.3 seconds and a 10-year-old girl should be able to finish the run in 10.8 seconds.
• **A 15-year-old boy should be able to finish the run in 9 seconds and a 15-year-old girl should be able to finish the run in 10 seconds.

Endurance run

The endurance run or walk consists of being able to cover the distance of a mile in the shortest time possible. Running can be interspersed with walking. Alternative distances include a fourth of a mile for 6- and 7-year-olds or a half-mile for 8- and 9-year-olds.

• **A 6-year-old boy should be able to finish a mile in 10:15 or a fourth of a mile in 1:55. A 6-year-old girl should be able to finish a mile in 11:20 or a fourth of a mile in 2:00.
• **A 10-year-old boy should be able to finish a mile in 7:57 and a 10-year-old girl should be able to finish a mile in 9:19.
• **A 15-year-old boy should be able to finish a mile in 6:20 and a 15-year-old girl should be able to finish a mile in 8:08.

Pull-ups

The child hangs from a horizontal bar at a height he or she can hang from and still have their feet free from the floor. The child pulls up until the chin is above the bar and then lowers back to a full-hang starting position.

• **A 6-year-old boy should be capable of two pull-ups and a 6-year-old girl should be capable of two pull-ups.
• **A 10-year-old boy should be capable of six pull-ups and a 10-year-old girl should be capable of three pull-ups.
• **A 15-year-old boy should be capable of 11 pull-ups and a 15-year-old girl should be capable of two pull-ups.

V-sit

Mark a straight line -- this is the base line -- two feet long on the floor. Draw a measuring line perpendicular to the base line and have it intersect with the base line in the middle. The measuring line should be two feet long on each side of the baseline. The child sits on the floor with their legs stretched straight out in front of them. With their palms down, the child reaches as far possible past their feet. After three practice tries, the fourth reach is measured.

• **A 6-year-old boy should be capable of reaching 3.5 inches beyond their feet and a 6-year-old girl should be capable of reaching 5.5 inches.
• **A 10-year-old boy should be capable of reaching 4 inches beyond their feet and a 10-year-old girl should be capable of reaching 6 inches.
• **A 15-year-old boy should be capable of reaching 5 inches beyond their feet and a 15-year-old girl should be capable of reaching 8 inches.

Discomfort

I hate being uncomfortable. Not in the physical sense (but that isn't any fun either) like when I am running and want to stop, but in the sense of my life or a situation. I HATE feeling uncomfortable.

Lately, I have been feeling very uncomfortable with my choice to go back to school. I am uncomfortable that I am the only older student in my classes (save one) and I am surrounded by a culture that resents my intrusion. I am uncomfortable that all the classes are "modified" for the "younger generation" (i.e. dumbed up) and I have to sit through disparaging remarks about people like myself. I am uncomfortable that any time I speak in class, no matter what I say, I wish I had never spoken at all.

I want to be invisible.

But I am a loud mouth. Considering my relatives, I'm pretty sure it's a genetic flaw traceable back to the prehistoric era where a lemur-like-ancestor of mine probably stood on a rock outcropping and tried to lecture a T-Rex about the ills of eating meat, and how he needed more fiber in his diet. Nevertheless, I find that sitting in a room of 30 "kids" and listening to the teacher fish for an answer for 10 minutes (NO, I am NOT kidding) without giving in and trying to make the students answer her correctly, drives me SO crazy that eventually I finally just give her the answer she was looking for and knew all along. But she doesn't want the answer from ME. I don't count, you see. So speaking up is a mistake. It's like that in other classes too.

Maybe this was a big mistake. An expensive one too, but a big one.

Oh, and even better - the college has just instituted a series of tests you must pass in order to graduate from their school at all. It's a mirror image of those tests they are starting to require for high school seniors to pass before they'll give them a diploma. I can blame this on Bush, right?

The tests are completely independent of any of the curriculum for ANY degree, and it only happens once a semester. The first one is their Quantitative Reasoning tests, which is all things math. ME + Math = Mass Hysteria. This is not going to go well. I had to bring up some basic geometry formulas online, because somewhere between turning 21 and having children, it all leaked out of my brain. There are others too, which I am desperately trying to refresh my memory on - because you know what? I was totally freakin' right! I NEVER USED THIS CRAP THEY MADE US LEARN! Those teachers LIED through their crooked yellow teeth about needing this junk!

And now I have to prove that I can use it all by Tuesday, or I don't get another shot at it until NEXT semester, AND they call me stupid (but a more P.C. version,... braincell-challenged or something) and try to make me sign up for other math courses which I passed the first time I was in college. Which isn't going to happen. The next required test is the week after. It's an Information Literature Standard (I'll bitch about that next week.)

But all in all, I'm feeling decidedly uncomfortable right now. I'm wondering if I should have just gone back to work (I used to work as an executive administrative assistant and legal secretary, even though I hated it.) I'm feeling like no matter what choice I make right now, it's wrong. I dreamt it was wrong and that I should quit school last night, which didn't help matters when I woke up.

I always liked school before, but this time around - I HATE IT. I don't have a single class I like. Isn't that a bad sign?

Friday The 13th

Everyone is running around blaming their mishaps today on the fact that it's Friday the 13th. It's fascinating what a bit of superstition will do to a bunch of nearly sane people. Some experts even recommend STAYING HOME on Friday the 13th.

I should have stayed home. Instead, I had the worst Friday the 13th Errand of all - I had my yearly tune-up (AKA Gyn Exam) today. I showed up at the office, only to find that the office wasn't THERE. No sign saying where they had gone. Nothing. Just a big vacant office with some paint tarps in the middle of the floor.

Now, I knew it just wasn't possible that all the gynaecologists had been kidnapped in New England, thus giving me a free pass until next year. Good things like that just don't happen to people like me. So, I stood there for a few minutes, trying to peer in the window. I'm not exactly sure why, but it seemed like the X-files thing to do. I didn't have my lock-pick with me, so my options were limited. It was very dark and creepy (the building is about 200 years old), but other than that, rather unenlightening.

It was around the time that I was dodging the giant spider coming down from the ceiling that I recalled seeing on my caller i.d. the name of the local hospital when they had confirmed my appointment. Damn my memory. Now I knew where they were. Mystery solved. No escape with a fantastic excuse NOW. Curses.

After I had my tires rotated and my air filter changed, they informed me that since I am now over 30 (which I was last time, but maybe they were giving me a grace period just to see if I stayed that way or not...) that I should be screened for extra things.

Extra things? Like what? What other horrible thing is going to happen to my body as I age that no one is telling me? Do I get an extra arm? That could be useful, and explain the dowagers hump some older women have - they're really hiding a third arm! I'm really not interested in an extra foot, the two I have are plenty for me to trip over now. Or, hey, could I suddenly become afflicted with being graceful and coordinated??? Or are we talking things that have a male version... men lose their hair on top of their head and sprout it out their ears and nose, is there a female equivalent of that, and is there a preventative something or other I can take to avoid it? Clearly my husband's "Beer-Preventative" isn't helping him any.

"Oh, no, no, nothing like that..." (because, yeah, I actually said something along those lines. Why? Well, for some odd reason I feel like I have to make conversation when a stranger is... invading my personal space while under a fluorescent purple sheet at my knees. Call me crazy.) "No, we're going to need to do a bone density scan (just to make sure I have them still, and I'm not just walking around with plastic forks for femurs), and a cholesterol test - as I see you haven't had one yet...." and she rattled off a bunch of other tests. Tests that sound like they're for, well, A GROWN UP, Dammit! An OLD grown up!

Are these tests because of anything I have going on? NO! They're just tests that are standard when dealing with a "mature woman". How dare she call me mature. I have to sulk now.

If You Could Have It All...

What would you do? If one day you woke up, and someone handed you a check for Two Million Dollars, what would you do?

No, no one has handed me a check worth millions of dollars (however, if anyone would like to - please email me...) This is the standard question to discover what you would do if you could do anything. If you didn't HAVE to work at the job you have now, but you didn't have too much money that made NOT working and just being a rich blob was an option - what would you do?

You need to do something with your life to earn a little money for long term prospects, but it isn't a big deal. Salary and money are no object or consideration for picking this life pursuit. What would you do?

This is part of the conversation Mr. Savy and I had today while painting, after our rather heated debate over X-Men 3 which we just saw (and whether or not it stunk, I fall on the side that it could have been better.) It's clear the paint fumes were having an effect.

Still, I was shocked to hear Mr. Savy say he would do something ELSE from what he is doing NOW. A man who has wanted to be a rocket scientist since he was a little kid, has achieved that and gets to play around with electricity and jet fuel, and other things that no one would let me within a 1,000 yard radius of - and he would do something ELSE? Wow. Talk about a shocker. He said he would actually be happier if he could find a job coaching soccer or something along those lines. Seriously. Not as a hobby (since he already does this,) but as his profession. That's not to say he doesn't love what he does now, and he made that clear too. But his ideal has shifted.

I'm still thinking on his response to that, along with my own. I have ideas, but really I'm surprised with how little an answer I have for the question. I think I am a bit thrown that my husband isn't doing his "dream job", when I thought he always had been.

Wow, paint, fumes, and epiphanies.... Cool.

So, what would you all do if you could?

The Painting Challenge

It's a well established fact that I am a walking Bermuda-Triangle. At this point in my life, it's simply stupid to deny that anything and everything that CAN happen, WILL happen, and worse. Now add to it that I am moody (yeah, I know, a real shocker there, when am I NOT moody?) and slightly sick. Now put all of that into context with what I have been doing this week: a whole week off, alone in my house with my husband painting ceilings and walls, with step ladders, extension ladders, buckets of paint everywhere, nails on the floor, sofas in my kitchen, end tables in my hallway, dining room chairs stacked in my bathroom....

You know, a smart person would have made a reality television series out of it.

I have fallen off of ladders, tripped over tables, stepped on nails, fallen into walls, and stuck my foot into a completely FULL vat of paint. Yes, these were all immensely proud moments for me. Yesterday felt like it was five days rolled into one, and this was confirmed by the fact that when I looked into the mirror I had gone prematurely grey (technically, a lovely hazelnut cream. At some point, I somehow stuck my hair against a wet wall, apparently.)

Painting this much would be a challenge all on it's own, but this week it has been more than that. This week has been a glimpse into the future of my marriage. Oh dear.

Have you ever heard about those couples who are suddenly thrown together all day every day when they retire? Suddenly, they realize that if they have to spend this much time with each other, they might hurl themselves off the roof? Oh help me, do you know the restraint it's taken at times not to beat Mr. Savy senseless with a paintbrush?

Don't get me wrong, I love the man. I do. Couldn't be married to anyone else. Nope. he's great.

But if I spend one more day locked in this house full of paint fumes and falling off of ladders with him, it's going to be the end of me!!!

Guess what I get to do today?

*sigh*

Be My Hero

Do you remember who your idol/hero/chosen role model was growing up? I'm not sure if I can remember mine. I spent most of my childhood with either my nose in a book, or on roller skates (or both, but that always turned out to have rather steep consequences.)

I do remember pretending to have powers while standing on my back porch with a sheet as a cape. I'm not sure who I thought I was, but I liked to imagine I could control the wind like someone I had seen or read about. Luckily it never dawned on me to try and fly. Unfortunately, my brother wasn't so fortunate. But, he lived to tell about it, so no harm no foul, right??

To be honest, I don't think I ever had anyone that I said "THAT! I wanna BE that when I grow up! I wanna be just like him/her!" Even taking into consideration fictitious characters I read about. I never picked a single person to mimic or idolize.

What I did pay attention to was certain qualities that I admired. I have vague memories of this person or that person, and thinking that something about them really struck me. As an adult, I have shifted and I have more people that I admire for a certain trait they posses.

The most recent example is a friend of mine. She is in the midst of a divorce, and other problems. But rather than becoming mired in the situation like so many would, she picked herself up and MOVED to St. Thomas. Without a job, or apartment, or anything.

Sure, she has "in demand" skills in her field, so she didn't think it would be much of a problem. But still, she had never lived outside of her TOWN, much less state or heck, continent! Yet, just this past week, off she went.

It is important to note that this is not unusual for her on the stance of taking chances to go out and experience life. She never left school, and has continued to rack up degrees while working full time, and traveling all over the world. Still, moving was a big leap, and she did it. I admire that.

There are others, but I won't go on. The point is, I think that people need other people to inspire and admire, and I think that everyone IS someone else's inspiration. My friend inspires me to not be afraid, and to step off that high dive.

So much of my life is lived with the "BUT! What ifs!?!??!?!" I hate that. I wish I was fearless. Instead, I am fearful frequently of what I have to lose. I didn't used to be this way... or at least not to this degree. But after I had children, I became terrified of losing what I had been given, on any level. That is where she strikes a cord within me.

There are others for other reasons, but I sincerely doubt ANY of these people have any clue that they inspire me. They're just ordinary people, with something I find extraordinary about them. Not their whole lives. Not everything about them. But, SOMETHING.

Chances are you inspire someone as well. Someone admires YOU. So, here are my questions:

What is the best thing about you?
What is your quality that inspires others?
What is the one thing that you admire about YOURSELF?

The Healthy Lifestyle Lag Time

Growing up, my mother was always on a diet. She had a buddy down the block from us, and between the two of them, they came up with the stupidest things to torture themselves with. Unfortunately, they felt that they should SHARE the experience with the rest of the family. We were so overjoyed at their generosity, I cannot tell you.

There was:

• The grapefruit diet,


• The no sugar diet (of any sorts, so even fruit was banned - and artificial sweeteners weren't on the market then),


• The no starch diet,


• The color coordinating diet (theory of matching certain colors to Mars being in it's zenith, and... I have NO idea what the heck this one was),


• The all seltzer diet,


• The no salt diet (seriously, we landed in the doctors office - almost in the hospital because it turns out sodium is something you DO need a little of),


• The seaweed diet (please make the nightmares stop)


• The cheese diet (we enjoyed this one... briefly....)


• The hot pepper diet (just a really bad idea no matter how you look at it.)


• The all protein diet.


• The no protein diet.


• The vegetarian diet. (Well, a messed up idea of vegetarianism. Not a real version of it.)


• The Vegan diet. (Another messed up version of the real one. Always thought this meant we would turn into aliens from Venus)


• The all egg diet....etc

...Anyone catching a pattern yet? Besides the cruel and unusual torture that was inflicted on my brother and I (probably more him, since the kid was hollow, and still is. The last time we went out to dinner, he ordered THREE full entrees, dessert and all - and ate again two hours later! He's 6'6, lean, and I hate him. No, I love him, but I totally hate him....)

Every single diet was just S-T-U-P-I-D!!! You can't live that way! But wasn't it the fad? Wasn't it the thing to say to everyone? "I'm on a diet! I'm dieting!" As a kid I actually thought that was something cool to say, that someday I would get to say it too. It was just one of those perks to look forward to, by growing up and being able to say something dramatic like that. I know, I know... at that age I also thought having homework in high school looked pretty important and cool too. I was clearly a deeply disturbed child.

The key element to all those lapses in sanity (AKA diets) were that they were a temporary state of being. You did them, you toughed it out, and then you crossed the finish line. You got to enjoy whatever your long suffering efforts had wrought. Well, at least for a day or two. Then you would start gaining weight and your search would begin again for a glamorous new insane diet, usually to be found in Vogue, Cosmo, or some other completely vapid publication.

Fast forward to a little sanity, and me as a grown up (OK, precious little sanity.) Well, gee... I got my wish to tell everyone that I was "dieting". That wasn't half as exciting as it had seemed. Yet another disappointment to file behind the reality of homework. I started to travel down the same path of stupid dieting ideas. The good news was that early on something clicked in my head and said "this is no way to live!"

Eventually, I ended up at weight watchers (oddly enough, according to all their charts, I wasn't over weight, but they recommended I lose 20 lbs. We'll save that rant for another day.) While there, and being virtually invisible amid the masses of 40-60 year old women as a measly 18 year old, I watched as woman after woman "came back" after having "gone off plan", so they had to "restart". In short, they were still dieting.

It took me a long time to figure out I needed a lifestyle shift, this was before it became popular to say so in the media. Then it took even longer to figure out what that meant, and how to be healthy about it. Now, after all these years, I am on the other side watching. I help others with their plans, yet I still struggle.

But, I have figured something out. There is a lag-time for lifestyle changes. Oddly, no one seems to mention it. The usual story is to make small permanent changes, and then someday, viola! You'll be perfect, and springing through a field of flowers with a chorus singing behind you, and a ukulele twanging in the distance.

The problem with that is the fact that we all still have the "diet" mindset, even if we don't acknowledge it. Deep down, we feel that there should be a finish line. A point at which we can go back to being NORMAL. Just us.

But there isn't. Eventually that sinks in, and with it comes a period of indecision - this is the lag time I am referring to. And let me tell you, this time period sucks rocks.

You start to question everything. Why are you doing this? Is it really worth it? What's the point? No one else has to live this way, do they? It seems like you are missing out on everything! Aren't you? How important is food? How important is this? WHY the hell does this get to BE important? Maybe you should just ignore it, try to live beyond the physical and find peace, because you don't feel like you are at peace!

Do any of you remember the movie The Abyss? There is a scene in it where they have to teach one of the characters to breath an oxygenated fluid. At first, he holds his breath and resists it. Then he panics, like a drowning man - flailing out.. freaking out! Then he has no choice, the pressure builds, he is trapped and he sucks in his first "breath"....and finds that he CAN breath, contrary to what his body and mind were telling him. Maybe it's not natural to him at first, but it slowly becomes comfortable enough to do what he needs to.

THAT is literally the process of a lifestyle change. You make the change... you think you can handle it. You start to have doubts. You start talking to yourself about how things should be, and why are they like this now? Then you start getting frustrated and slightly panicky that this is something that you HAVE to do, and all the consequences of that. That's when you start lashing out, freaking out... unfortunately, you aren't trapped in a bubble with only special fluid to breath - you DO have a choice to step outside and take a breath of the "old way". To choose that old way entirely. But if you just hold on, and breath - eventually the panic and stress fades, and you realize you CAN live this way. You are OK. Even better than before. It's not hard anymore.

The problem is, so few people make it past the panic. I think it's because no one ever WARNS you that it IS coming. It will freak you out. You WILL get angry, even to the point of being absolutely irrational. Or too rational - and talk yourself back into your old habits. It's because those are familiar, and the healthy lifestyle is new. There is an extended moment of panic before you learn to breath, and if you don't know it's coming, it can knock you right off your ladder and back into the pool.

So, it's important to make your choice before you get to that point. Ask yourself exactly what you are doing and why, before you ever take the first step. You need to know these things before you get to the point where you have to choose in a blind panic. If you have made the choice clearly before, you have a shot at making it through the lag-time, because somewhere in the panic will echo the truth of what you really want.

You can hold onto that truth. If you do, you will come out of the struggle a better person, and you will learn to breath in a better body and mind than you ever had before.

Stop dieting. Even if you think you aren't - ask yourself again, because it's a safe bet most of you really ARE still. Think things over, and make a REAL choice, complete with a real commitment. Then hold on.

Manners

I know that there are lots of bloggers out there who go on and on about manners, and bad experiences. Well, I am about to join them. I have had it today. What the heck is wrong with people lately?

Just a moment ago, a couple walking by with their dog (NOT ON A LEASH) caught the attention of my own Labrador. He decided to run out and say hello. I saw him going for it, and right away called him back to the house. Unfortunately, my dog is a moron, and I had to get my husband to shout for him too. My dog came back, no harm, no foul, no one was bothered. It was a split-second kind of thing.

Well, not a moment after I shut the front door, the people let their dog run unchecked through our front yard and pee all over my oak tree and flowers. They never called him to come back to them. They looked at him, and didn't care that their dog was IN MY YARD peeing all over, when not even two seconds ago they gave a wave of thanks that we had called our dogs back in. They even walked on quite a bit before my husband finally popped his head out the front door and yelled at the dog to get out of our yard, and THEN they called their dog to them - with a nasty look at US.

When the hell did it become a world of "treat me with care and respect, but I get to treat you like dirt"? At the grocery store, I stepped aside for a group (40's) coming through and one of them said under their breath as they passed "Yeah, that's right, you better make way, bitch."

EXCUSE ME?

Earlier this week I was out and a bunch of tourists were walking around town. There were some in a local shop and were complaining, and refusing to pay for something they had broken while in the shop, and saying "I bring my tourist dollars HERE so YOU have a job. You OWE ME, so you should show a little gratitude - I am not paying for this. I am sorry I knocked it over, but I am NOT paying for it! More than that, I am telling everyone I know where I am staying to NOT come into YOUR store! You need to learn the value of respect!"

These are likely the same people who drive 20 MPH in the 50 MPH zone on the roads here (no passing zones in most cases) so they can look at the trees and cows. They can't be bothered to use the pull offs, or anything - cause dammit, they're paying for this vacation, and they don't CARE that YOU live here. Not their problem, so shut up, and you better be kissing their butts while you are at it.

Seriously, WTF is WRONG with people???? I would never DREAM of talking to someone the way those people did in the shop, or the grocery store. I would never allow my dogs to run in a neighbor's yard (those jerks live about a mile down the road.) I try and treat everyone with respect, especially those I don't know. I expect to be treated with respect too. But there is a big difference between respect and expecting the world to roll over for you personally.

If there is one thing I have learned, it's the the world doesn't revolve around anyone, so you better make your own way, and do it in a respectful manner. Why does it seem like I am the only person who knows this? Did I get the wrong manual in life, and I should have gotten the "How to be an absolute asshole and feel good about it" one?

Sorry for the foul language, but right now I am struggling with the urge to walk down the street and yell at those people. Perhaps set my chickens loose in their bedroom tonight after they go to sleep. Set out skunk bait under their cars in the early morning.

I'm on a bad track here. It's so hard when you have so little faith in humanity as it is. When you have seen the worst side of people, things you can't even discuss, but can't ever forget. But you try to go through your day, and be nice, and you get THIS in return!!!

ARGH!!!!

Insomnia

Remember how I told everyone I would take pictures of the Autumn colors blazing through the area? Well, right after that statement, we got a wicked storm which stripped the colors right off the trees. The good news is that a lot of the leaves were still green and held on for dear life, the bad news is that half the trees are prematurely bald now. I'm hoping that the season will blaze back to life and I will have pictures to share in a week or two.

That being said, I have mentioned before that I have trouble sleeping when there is a full (or very near full) moon. I think there are a lot of forces at work, it's a proven fact that humans are affected by the moon, just as the tides are (hey, does that make me one tide short of a wave?) But, I think its something easier to explain than that. Because I live way out in the country, I'm used to sleeping with the dark.

When I say dark, I mean "I can't see my hand in front of my face" dark. That really DOES exist, for you city dwellers who have never experienced it. We have no street lamps here. No neighbors to put on porch lights. Cars are very few and far between. It's D-A-R-K here!

So when that moon comes out in all it's glory.... it's like some gnome is sitting on your chest with a flashlight pointed at your eyes! UGH! Last night I was tempted to go on a midnight run, it was SO bright. The only thing that held me back was the fact that I was utterly exhausted. I kept telling myself that the moon would set soon. But did it? NO!!!

I finally gave up at 5:30 AM this morning. I could feel the moon's gaze drilling in my back, so I rolled over and glared back at it. Well, I am glad I did. One of the things the dropping temperature brings is a lot of low-lying fog here as well. I have to tell you, I sat there for a while simply admiring the beauty, before I remembered I actually own a camera. It doesn't translate well (because it's more impressive in person), but here is what you would have seen this morning lying in my bed, out my bedroom window;

Now, beauty aside - could YOU sleep through that? (YES - that IS the MOON, not the sun. It's SO BRIGHT!) I am also obsessed with the moon - which I know you all picked up on from my paintings, but I'm saying it out loud anyway. I am in the middle of working on six paintings featuring the moon, even. Maybe that's why I can't sleep through it. It's like trying to sleep through a conversation with a best friend who keeps talking to you about something important - you just can't do it.

So, while I have no Autumn Foliage pictures to share yet, I thought I would share my view this morning of the Harvest moon.

(oh, and does it make a little more sense why we turned down the job back home in Colorado? We can wake up to this every morning through the 4 seasons, OR with a view of a neighbor's backyard, and other houses stretching to infinity.... Just sayin', sometimes it's worth it to live in a postcard, even if the Stepford Wives rule the world here.)

*sigh*

This afternoon, in my Macroeconomics class.....


a student asked if Doritos existed when I was a kid.

*banging*

I

*Head*

Really

*on*

Need

*table*

Chocolate


......Or, apparently, a walker.

I had to stop myself from saying "of course we had Doritos! We fed them to our pet pterodactyl!"

Used Dreams

This morning the alarm went off for Mr. Savy to get up extra early. I HATE the alarm-game he plays (hits snooze, sleeps another five minutes, and does this another 3-4 times) it makes me SO ANGRY on the few days I am actually there to witness it. Usually I am up an hour before him at OMG-:30AM to work out, but when I am sleeping and he does this, well.... I become irrationally angry, actually.

Do any of you find that if you are woken up (rudely) you are more angry than you would be in any other circumstance? It's like a mean little gnome has taken over your body, and you're ready to start "crackin' skulls" at the smallest provocation?

Well, anyway, the alarm went off, and I fully expected Mr. Savy to ruin my morning of getting to sleep in until 6AM by playing ring around the snooze-button, so I decided to be proactive and threaten his life on the first go around. I felt it only fair to fire a warning shot first though, so after he hit the clock I said "Boy, you really ought to get up and get going since you have to be in early today... *AHEM*" This was made even more subtle by my pushing at his shoulder, and my oh-so-loving-threatening-tone.

He surprised me, however. He turned over and LOOKED at me. (The man doesn't open his eyes until after his second cup of coffee... which I find fascinating since I am the night owl, and the one who needs to sleep until noon. He's proud to call himself a "Normal Human Being", AKA sleeping from 10-6.) Well, I don't know about you all, but being stared at when you are still half out of it is a little disconcerting. So, I mumbled "you really ought to get up and turn off the alarm, instead of doing the snooze button-thing."

He just looked at me, sighed, and then said "I DID"

"Really? No... really? Seriously? Are you OK?"

"I've been up for an hour and a half." He grumbled at me like it was MY fault. I had to double check that he still had his fair share of the covers and what not, because other than that I can't be to blame. (Or rather, I refuse to accept blame. Same difference, right?)

"Are you sick? Why were you up?"

"I don't KNOW! I just had these horrible nightmares, and then I've been up ever since." And THEN he just HAD to tell me about his dreams! I don't WANT to hear about horrible, awful dreams! Especially when I am half asleep and susceptible to this kind of thing!

Well he told me anyway. Something about evil spirit trains intent on hurting children. Lovely. THEN he got up and left me to go back to sleep. Which I did, and guess what?

I HAD HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES TOO! I dreamt of zombies infecting everyone, and living in a house that was falling down, and trying to save my children. It was right out of a cheesy B movie or video game, except it was SCARY in person. I even had the dream-thought "well, damn, Buffy made it look so exciting, but honestly, I think I'd really rather live without zombies in my life. I don't particularly like the idea of being eaten."

Apparently, my sense of humor stays intact in my dreams. Lucky me.

Anyway, I am holding Mr. Savy personally responsible for passing on his used nightmare to me. I do NOT like hand-me-downs.

So, now I feel all off kilter today. I hate how bad dreams have the ability to make you feel a step off for the rest of the day. Oh, AND it's foggy and creepy out right now! Even better for a creepy sleep kind of day! Joy!

On another note, I wanted to let everyone know I am going to start taking photos of the area with the fall colors blazing. It really is quite spectacular, and several people have asked me to do so. So, keep your eye open! I'm going to head out today if this creepy fog ever lifts.... I'm just not willing to risk being lunch by strolling by the graveyard down the street in the fog after my nightmare (yes, really. We have graveyards every two feet out here in New England. We gotz uz a lot of dead peoplez!)

HEY!

Now, how come all my Battlestar Galactica blogging fanatics didn't TELL me that Sci-Fi has been running this big ONLINE ONLY 10 part mini-series of the show??? Come on, you guys! I depend on ya to keep me up to date on this stuff! GEEEZE!

OK, and for anyone else in the dark on this too, here is a link to the current 9 episodes. I haven't watched them yet... but I'm about to.

The Easy Way Out

Apparently, I took the easy way out. Yep. That's what I'm being told. I took the easy way out. Instead of going to work like a normal adult woman of 31 years of age, I went back to college.

And it was the easy way out.

I decided that I would face driving over an HOUR (that's without traffic) each way to school, and take 20 credit hours (that's six real classes and one blow-off class, for a total of seven classes for those who don't count in credits) in an effort to get my B.S. in business in a normal two year time frame.

And it was the easy way out.

I decided to go back into a classroom full of 18 yea