I don't like New Year's resolutions. I have decided that I am firmly against them. Why? Because they're usually all about looking at yourself and finding the worst. What is it about you that is awful? What DON'T you like? What should be be changing?
I'm not good with criticism from any quarter anyway, so to set up a situation where it's expected just grates on my nerves. I don't need a special time to pick apart who I am and say "this is awful." I do that anyway, practically on a daily basis - and it's NOT a good thing. Why make resolutions about that?
I have lots of things I could change:
* I want to be a size 2... OK it's not physically possible for my body frame, but hey. There isn't a woman out there who isn't told by some sort of input (media or friends/family, etc) that they should somehow be physically different. I often get the "if only you were really super thin you could...." I could what? Be smarter? Have a nicer set of kids? A better marriage? Win lotto? Give me a break! I'm healthy, I'm in my weight range, and yeah while I'd love to be all svelte and sexy, I'm strong and healthy. Being thinner would only change the label on the jeans I buy. That's IT. And it was the same when I was obese! Being thinner didn't change ANYTHING. So Mr. "be thinner" resolution can just bite me.
* I want to be fabulously wealthy. Yeah, who doesn't? But would it change much? No. I'd still feel the driving need to be something more than I am, to do something important. I'd still be finishing my degree right now. I'd still be painting. I'd still be writing. I'd just have a nicer computer. And really, I don't totally understand the one I have now.
I could go on, but what is the point? Everyone has a million "resolutions" they could make, but the fact remains that I believe resolutions shouldn't be made. I believe that a person should try their best every day, period, all year long. The idea of this one shot every January 1st to be a better person and have a more fulfilling life is limited. It's negative too. Why pick apart everything about yourself and start the year off like that?
So I'm tossing the resolutions. Resolutely.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
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5 comments:
My resolution for the past 2 years is not to make any resolutions and I haven't. All the things I resolved to do I've been doing already so to make a "To Do List" for the year would be moot.
Stacy
I hear what you're saying Kyra, but I really like to look at my resolutions as "how can I improve on what I already have going for me?" or, more importantly, "how can I make myself happier?" I try to make it more about visualizing my life as I want it to be in the coming year and not so much about beating myself up for what I did wrong the year prior. :) (I also tend to call them goals more than resolutions, with a nice 12 month window to get them all done!)
I like to set some goals for the year ahead too. Sure, I'm always setting goals throughout the year as well, but a new year is a good opportunity to really think about the big picture stuff that I want to achieve.
I'm with you totally though on axing all negative thoughts. I know that never gets you anywhere. When you feel bad about something you've done or not done, telling yourself that you failed or screwed up only reinforces the negative behaviour.
POSITIVE goals, that's my aim. Want to run 5 kms? Learn to speak French? Bench press 50kg? Get that promotion? Great, make some plans around how you're going to achieve that and get to work on it.
I'm still fine-tuning my 2008 goals, but they're shaping up to be exciting!
I'd like to be an astronaut!
It's not looking too good, though.
I don't like the underlying theme of New Years Resolutions because it seems like a way to only change ourselves once a year, when we know that's not realistic! I've been against them for some time however this year, my life changes are happening around the same time as the dreaded resolution season so I find myself thinking about it more and more.
What's odd is that as soon as I write something down on paper that I'd like to improve upon, it leaves that nasty dwelling place in my head.
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