Uber-Sigh

You only have until midnight to submit your entries for either the art or the blanket! If you need more information, please check out the main contest post, and the clarification post (because it isn't as hard as I originally made it sound)! We have about five entries, this means that you all still have a chance! Come on!


Now, onto my post...

I must admit, I'm rather frustrated with Mr. Savy today. Gas is very close to $4 a gallon for the cheapest version, and he is driving to a soccer game(he's the coach) that... well when all is said and done this one game will cost us $60 in gas just to get him there and back. He said I'm over obsessed about the economy. I said he's got his head in a pile of sand, and I'm tired of it (as I have said before; he is the spender, and I am the budget-save-scrimp-panic-worrier.)

Continuing on the economy line, this morning there is a big job fair going on at one of the biggest employers in the area. I was so exhausted yesterday that I agreed with Mr. Savy that it wasn't important that I go. This morning I am kicking myself, because I didn't line up anyone to watch the kids. I know it's all business, but that IS what my degree is in - and frankly money is getting scary out here. If we're going to stay here, I'm going to have to get a normal job and continue with the painting in my off time. Art just isn't a self-supporting form of employment for 99.99999% of the artists out there.

*sigh*

It could be that I'm just so stressed out that I'm reacting more negatively than usual to some minor annoyances. I have two finals on Monday morning, and then about 20 hours of work for a sort of internship-class to do... and then all I have to do is graduate. You would think I would be ecstatic, but I'm not.

I'm freaked out. About everything. Getting everything done, graduating, family and friends arriving this week, a BBQ the day after graduation... and then all the "real-life" stuff. I'm not sleeping. Seriously. I'm dead on my feet, practically falling asleep at the wheel tired, but when I go to bed I am just -awake!- after only a couple of hours of sleep. But it's not really being awake, because my body is just screaming at me to sleep, but my mind isn't cooperating. I tried some over the counter sleeping "aids", which aided nothing.

I am hoping all of this is just a mirage. That it's all stress-induced panic. But I have to tell you that in the moment it doesn't feel like an illusion. I feel cornered and panicky...

Well that was a miserable post. Sorry. Hopefully I'll swing back to ecstatic by next weekend.