A Whole Lotta Stupid

Have you ever been immediately sized up as stupid?

I'm not talking about after having put your foot rather aggressively in your mouth, or dancing drunk with a lampshade on your head in front of your boss, or suddenly forgetting how to add in front of the accounting department. What I'm referring to is simply meeting someone, and without you even saying a word... *wham!* The assessment is made, from what can only be attributed to a visual reference, that you posses the IQ of a turnip?

Now, most of you know... and if you don't, let me be clear: I am not a natural redhead. My daughter is a natural redhead, I have always loved red hair - and when she was born I figured I actually had a shot at getting away with red hair. And I can, because I actually look better with red hair than I ever did as a blond... but if anyone asks, I can't stomach the idea of lying. I fess up. In reality, I am actually a natural blond.

People laugh about blonds all the time. There isn't a blond joke I haven't heard. Seriously, it's been about 10 years since I have heard a new one. People go out of their way to tell blonds horrible blond jokes. Most of them are funny, but underlying those jokes is a very real prejudgment that somehow something visual about someone equates to them being a complete idiot.

I went to a job interview when I was younger and I was told, before I had said anything - I had literally just sat down for the interview: "Oh, I'm sorry to have had you come all the way in... when we saw your resume, we figured that you would be a good match. But... Well, if I can be frank? You're a woman, and you are blond... I know you say you have the skills here on your resume, but obviously you are just not smart enough for this position."

I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. I was completely floored by that experience. I was perfectly qualified, save for my hair color and my gender? Just exploring the illegality of that statement led to years of amusement... once the anger died down. The unfortunate reality is that while normally not as blatant, I have been instantly judged stupid on the spot many times, before I actually did anything to deserve the title.

I'm not exactly sure why it happened when it did, but I do believe my hair color played into it. My scientific reasoning for this theory is that it has happened significantly less since I changed it. In fact, it has been long enough that when it happened today I was completely caught off guard.

I had to take my daughter to a specialist. When the doctor (an older gentleman) entered the room with his young intern trailing behind him, he located my daughter, turned to me and gave me the once over and I saw it happen. I hadn't said a word, only a split second had passed, but there it was in his eyes. I had seen that look before, that "Oh dear, I wonder if I know enough rudimentary words to get my point across to her. Maybe I'll have to sketch pictures with pasta or something..." look.

I wasn't dressed inappropriately; I was in business casual. I hadn't said anything. I hadn't even moved, as it had only been the initial split second of setting eyes on one another. For whatever reason, apparently to him I just screamed "STUPID!!!" I even checked the mirror afterward, but "moron" wasn't written on my forehead.

I'm very proud of myself, though. There was a time when I would have gone out of my way to prove my grasp of whatever subject was at hand, to try to change his mind from assuming I was a walking slice of Swiss cheese. Instead, I recognized the look for what it was, gave a very big mental sigh, and let the scene play itself out. I didn't react when he talked down to me like a child (as a matter of fact, he spoke to my daughter with a higher functioning exchange than he did with me.) I treated his conversation as though he was a addressing me politely, and did the same in return. I didn't become snarky when he repeated things over and over to me as if I was a walking etcher-sketch and one misstep would have erased everything he said, even though I made it clear that I understood. I simply kept quiet, and gave input only when required, thanked him and then left.

I think I "took the higher road", and I'm rather proud of myself. Maybe I am growing up after all! ...but maybe it was just surrendering instead? I must be too stupid to tell the difference. Hmmmmm. Well, no matter... I'm just going to go jostle my head around a bit and forget the whole experience.