Voting will be open all week. As a reminder, you cannot direct people to your story to vote for you, but you can direct them to the post to read the stories and vote for their favorite. If I find that you have revealed which is yours in order to get people to vote, you will be disqualified.
Here are the contestant entries:
Swamp-Girl
I need a blanket to sleep in. My one-eyed Pekinese got swallowed up by an Alligator this morning. She was the only thing I had left after the storm took out the shed me and Pa built with the lumber we found at the dump. Pa got infected with tetanus after stepping on rusty nails we got at the dump. His jaw locked plum tight, then he died of starvation. So here I am, a'starting over after two weeks of the greatest married life anyone could have ever hoped for.
I met Pa at an AA meeting just last month. It was love at first sight. He grinned that silly toothless grin, and I plum near fell off my wooden leg. After we was sober for a whole day together, I knew that we was meant to last. So, I asked him if he felt like getting hitched. We found us a preacher right there in AA who married us right after a meeting. I wanted me a new house to live in, so Pa— being real handy with a hammer —said we would build our own house. So off to the dump we went to gather the lumber and nails we needed to built our love nest. I always wanted me a place on the water and we found us a beautiful little spot right near Sipsey Swamp. Pa got real excited cause the crawdad fishing there is just outta sight. We spent us a whole morning putting that shed together and that’s when Pa stepped on that nail. It didn’t take but a day or two for the lock jaw to set in and Pa hadn’t had any nourishment except some of that Thunderbird wine he was so fond of, I guess his little body couldn’t hang on. I buried him out by the spot where he’d planned to go crawdad fishing.
A gully-washer came in, loaded with lightnin'n'thunder so loud I was shore a train was a comin' up thru the swamp. The wind howled like a blue-tick yawlin' after a full moon. My house just fell down around my feet. I walked away from the rubble with my precious little Pekinese dog. She learned to manage without her eye pretty good, but I think her sense of direction might have been just a bit off kilter. She heard a cat meow over in the woods, and took of after it. She took of the wrong way and headed straight for the swamp and that ol’ gator just popped up and swallowed my puppy whole.
I aint gonna let none of this get me down though, I believe that real good comes after real bad. I am gonna jes write all this down and hope that the lady that’s giving away that blanket will think I am worth taking stock in. I will lay in my blanket in this brand new refrigerator box I found and know that there is some real good people in this world.
The Lightning
Quick, I only have a few minutes left, and I have to convince you to let me win the Cuddle Wrap!
Not just because it looks warm and comfy, or because it would be perfect for lounging around the house in, or any other silly reason that someone else may come up with.
No.
No, I need it because IT WILL SAVE MY LIFE!!
Let me explain...
It all started a couple of weeks ago. Weird things started to happen. People started acting strange. Animals started to disappear. The news stations and papers all glossed it over at first, pretending nothing was happening. Then it got so bad that they couldn't ignore it anymore, so they began to say that things would be back to normal once the sun came back out.
You see...it's been dark for weeks now. Not just an overcast “clouds in front of the sun” kind of dark, but an all encompassing, pervasive blackness.
The only flashes of light we have had are occasional lightening bursts from far off in the distance. People were calm at first...a little mystified maybe...but fine. It was actually pretty peaceful. I don't live in a big town...we'd heard reports of the bigger cities having looting problems, but nothing like that around here. Well, not at first, at least.
Then we noticed something funny about the lightening. It was getting closer. Moving slowly, but with a purpose!
Then, it got cold. Really cold. Like bone-chilling, possible frost-bite kind of cold.
People started freezing to death. The closer the lightening got, the more casualties occurred.
People started getting scared. Panic set in. Houses were broken into, and blankets, sweaters…anything that could keep you warm…were stolen. It got to the point that bodies were being found wearing nothing but swimming trunks, or layers of flimsy Victoria’s Secret lingerie.
I figured out there’s a new social hierarchy in this night. The more clothes you’re wearing, the more respect you get. Unfortunately, I had to leave my house to get food, and I was mugged on the way out of the market. I was lucky to get away alive, but I was left in only my mismatched bra and panty set. I was too cold to even be humiliated.
By the time I got home, my house had been ransacked. I have nothing left to keep myself warm now, and they broke out the windows to get inside. The cold night is permeating every room in my house. Even my tears are frozen.
It’s below freezing out. The house is dark. I hear people laughing outside. Sometimes there’s a scream in the distance. I can’t really feel my legs…
The lightning is closer now. I can see it light up my house. It’s happening more often. There’s no thunder.
I really need that blanket. It would earn me respect, and keep me alive. For a while, at least.
Please. It’s so cold, it even hurts to type.
I need that blanket.
Poem of Woe…and Pez
Dear friends, my tale is one of woe
Misfortune multiplied
So grab a handkerchief or two
Tears will not be denied
When I was but a lad of three
My parents cut me loose
They left me in a Stop & Shop
‘Twixt dry goods and produce
I searched for them but they were gone
Imagine my distress
A lost and lonely little boy
With no means of redress
I stuffed my pockets full of Pez
Over in aisle four
And determined to find them again,
I walked out the front door
The world is a scary place
For a lad of tender years
So I set out with a heavy heart
And a bucketful of fears
Our home was in a trailer park
I searched for it, distraught
But where once there was a doublewide
Was now only a vacant lot
I sat upon the concrete steps
(They were detached and separate)
And ate my Pez and cried a lot,
Heartbroken and upset
And thus began an odyssey
That’s lasted all my life
A sordid tale of broken dreams
Of wretched, numbing strife
From job to job and town to town
I’ve stumbled blindly on
I ate alone, I lived alone,
Sullen and withdrawn
I’ve been arrested lots of times
Most ending in conviction
I have no real relationship
Just a bad Pez addiction
I’ve lived my life in shades of grey
Devoid of joy and love
I don’t deserve the things I feel
I am unworthy of
I fear now that the end is near
My organs are unsound
It will not be too long, my friends
Before I’m in the ground
I’ve just one wish before I die,
To own one thing of beauty
I have in mind a painting
Created by a red-haired cutie
Celestial in nature,
With a full and shining moon
And slender tendrils floating free
It makes me sigh and swoon
To hold that painting in my hands
Would end this masquerade
And I could face the other side
Peaceful and unafraid
I may be judged unworthy
Some dreams should not be pursued
If so, at least please send me
A case of Pez, or two.
Office Problem
The floor to ceiling windows and subsequent view had me so enraptured that I never really paid attention to the walls. For the most part, this historic Chicago building had been overhauled to combine vintage charm with the aesthetics of modern architecture. And for the most part, the marriage of these two opposing styles was quite successful. However, there were a number of visible bullet holes in the walls which apparently had never been caulked, and I don’t have the time or resources to do the handy work. I’m horrified that I never noticed such an important detail. I need your help, because I’ve already sent postcards to my patients alerting them that the new office of Margaret Ogleton, D.D.S. is open for business effective Monday.
Art Thief
Oh my God. I still feel numb inside. The police lights are flashing outside the giant hole where once there was a wall. The rest of my living room and neighborhood is buried in a surreal blend of red and blue flashers spinning... constantly spinning... just like my emotions.
I shouldn't be surprised. Honestly. A renowned art thief should know better... never get involved with a beautiful woman and actually bring her back to your REAL HIDEOUT! What the hell was I thinking? But how was I to know that she was also a thief? And that she and her band of merry mischief makers were targeting me? I couldn't have known. But I should have at least considered it.
Now, all the masterpieces by Monet, Rembrandt, Matisse, Picasso, and dozens more are gone. Foolishly I had hidden them here awaiting that perfect deal to sell them off and make my millions and live in the south of France. It was mostly a pipe dream, though. How do you sell such famous works that are known to be stolen? I couldn't. I knew it. So, instead, I hung them on the walls of my home. Maybe the world could no longer enjoy them, but I could.
I also grew attached to them. Those fantastic brush strokes. The realities and surrealities brought to life by a combination of paint, canvas, brush, and imagination.
Now, not even I can stare longingly into the visions of these masters. Now I have a hole, both in my wall and in my heart. I must fill this hole. Not my living room, of course. I can never return there. In fact, I should leave my hiding spot down the street immediately before the cops begin to canvass (no pun intended) the neighborhood for clues. If I stick around much longer, I will be caught and sent away for the rest of my lifetime for the crimes I committed.
They now know who I am.
They know who to look for and who to blame for all those art thefts.
I must keep a low profile for a while now.
But I must also have my art. I need my art. I need my fix. And I need it now!
Help me salvage my artist's soul.
If I win, announce it on your blog and I will tell you where you may contact me. I will likely still be on the run and constantly changing not only addresses, but e-mails as well. Don't try to find me, I will find you.
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